B and I have officially been on the road for almost two full months now. Glamour camping aka glamping is a thing and we are making glamour homeless aka glomeless a thing. We’ve ended up camping about three times on the weekend, which is actually a lot less often than we thought we’d be camping, considering we’re homeless. We’re lucky that we have nice friends and family who are willing to take us in or let us camp in their backyard. We figured out about one week in that we’d over packed and brought too many clothes, but we had the room in the car, so it wasn’t a big deal. One thing we totally and completely failed to pack or even consider to pack, though? A picnic blanket. We don’t have camp chairs, or a blanket, or anything for sitting around in when we are actually camping. And maybe that’s because we were firmly in denial about how often we’d be camping or decided that we’re tough enough to go backpacking without chairs, so we don’t need them.But sometimes, when you wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s already 80 degrees outside and you don’t get to just sleepily climb into your car and drive home to your couch and air conditioning, not having something comfortable to sit in like chairs feels different.
Especially when you attempt to drive to a park to find shade and have to lie on the grass sans blanket. It’s nostalgic and kind of fun to lie on your back with grass poking you and ants crawling on you while you stare at the clouds. For about five minutes. After your butt gets wet from damp grass and the ants start biting you and your husband is somehow snoring peacefully away next to you on the grass ignoring the ants, you start to contemplate dragging your sleeping bag and sleeping pad from the car. But sitting in a park on your sleeping bag screams I’m-actually-homeless-and-cops-might-make-us-move as opposed to my-husband-and-I-opted-to-travel-and-are-homeless-on-the-weekends-but-live-in-a-hotel-most-of-the-time-homeless. We’ve ended up at a few parks in the middle of the day on the weekend, me with a book or my phone and B asleep beside me. Gypsy plays fetch for about 10 minutes and then decides lying in the grass sounds nice, too. Except for that one time we sat on a picnic table to avoid the ants and brutally hot sun and there was glass all around the picnic table so B made Gypsy sit with me on top of the picnic table. Which was totally fine until Gypsy started stretching and accidentally rolled over sideways off the edge of the picnic table and onto the ground. [She was fine, by the way, but we both felt like horrible dog owners and couldn't really laugh at the time. Right now, I'm picturing it, though -- and it was really funny. She bounced perfectly off of the bench underneath the table top and ended up landing on her feet.]
So, a picnic blanket. We need one.
I started looking at cute picnic blankets and they’re all $50 and up. Which, honestly, sounded like a lot to me. I mean, $50 for a picnic blanket?? I’m going to use it a few times a year, maybe five, which means I’d have to use it 10 times to get my money’s worth. Ugh. I’m not even going to use them for their actual purpose of having a picnic, at least not anytime soon. I mean, I guess if I had one, maybe we’d eat our lunch on it? I don’t know.
This photo (from Beg Bicycles) is really cute, but almost TOO cute, you know? I love it, but my bike doesn’t look like that and my bike is currently in storage, along with my car that now has a dead battery because B and I didn’t really think the whole leaving a car in storage for a month thing through. We’re geniuses, clearly.
This picnic blanket DIY from Tried and True is awesome and I could probably even manage to make it on a weekend at a craft-friendly house. In the DIY she says she used a canvas from Home Depot for $10, which is right up my price range but also sounds not so fun to sit on. It’s less “picnic” and more “drop cloth for painting.”
I love this convertible tote bag picnic blanket from Brit.Co. It’s my favorite picnic blanket option, but it would be much more time consuming to make and would involve finding my sewing machine which isn’t likely to happen, but I love how stowable this blanket is. I’d probably just end up using it as a purse because I like having everything handy. I stockpile napkins in the glovebox and announce every time B needs one how convenient it is that SOMEONE was thoughtful enough to keep napkins on hand just in case. I also would like to carry a fold up camp fork in my purse because you just never know when you need to eat something right this second like ice cream. So far I’ve refrained from the fork, but only because I’m almost always in the car, along with my camp fork.
OK, these Pendleton blankets are pretty much the picnic blanket of all picnic blankets. Like the Louboutin is to expensive heels, the Pendleton is to picnic blankets. They look nice and comfy, but since I’m already balking at paying $50 for a picnic blanket, you can bet your ass there is no way I’m going to spend $150. But I’d take one as a gift. I would picnic the shit out of that blanket. I’d wine and dine that blanket. I would order room service and sit on our picnic blanket in the hotel room (jk, that’s just wasteful).
I love these Mexican blankets for picnic blankets because they’re relatively sturdy and grass doesn’t typically poke through (isn’t that the worst?). Plus, they’re a steal for $13. However, they’re usually weird dimensions and longer than they are wider, instead of square… the way a picnic blanket should be, right? They’re the type of blanket that seems made for a solo picnic and you can only lie up and down, not sideways, the only way to accurately look at clouds. So maybe I could buy two and sew them together? Or just put them side by side, fine. [You want to hear something funny? I actually have one of these blankets in storage. Somewhere. I bought one to use as a yoga blanket for shoulder stands and I packed it up. Oops.]
Maybe I’ll just steal a hotel sheet. What do you use for picnics? Do you have a designated blanket, or do you just take whatever’s artfully draped over the back of the couch? Do people drape blankets over couch backs anymore? Is that still a thing? Please advise.
Oooooh sorry, but have you seen the Coolest cooler? It comes with a blender! So you can make margaritas and store beer and drinks and food (it has a divider) and you can charge your phone and play music! I want one. We have no room in the car, but I want one.